Feel happier, right now!

The word "gratitude" is a bit syrupy and sugary, isn't it? Sort of like smiling for no reason, it can feel forced.

Try this exercise as an alternative way to get a nice happy buzz of happiness:

1) What is something good you have in your life?
2) What if that good thing never happened? (Imagine that you missed out on meeting your significant other, or you didn't get into college, or you never got the job you have now, etc.)

When I picture my life without say, having a house to grow up in, or without having my parents in my life, or without meeting my husband, or never having met great friends, or having things go down a horrible path, it makes me feel SAD initially, but then I'm overwhelmed with feeling GRATEFUL.

Sometimes you don't realize what you have until you lose it -- how about you imagine losing it, so you can appreciate it, now. It's funny how you almost have to carve out a negative space in which to fill it with something positive. Letting sadness hit you can do just that.

Become Luckier

I found this interesting blog on the topic:

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/be-lucky-its-an-easy-skill-to-learn-8

Be lucky - it's an easy skill to learn:

* Unlucky people often fail to follow their intuition when making a choice, whereas lucky people tend to respect hunches. Lucky people are interested in how they both think and feel about the various options, rather than simply looking at the rational side of the situation. I think this helps them because gut feelings act as an alarm bell - a reason to consider a decision carefully.

* Unlucky people tend to be creatures of routine. They tend to take the same route to and from work and talk to the same types of people at parties. In contrast, many lucky people try to introduce variety into their lives. For example, one person described how he thought of a colour before arriving at a party and then introduced himself to people wearing that colour. This kind of behaviour boosts the likelihood of chance opportunities by introducing variety.

* Lucky people tend to see the positive side of their ill fortune. They imagine how things could have been worse. In one interview, a lucky volunteer arrived with his leg in a plaster cast and described how he had fallen down a flight of stairs. I asked him whether he still felt lucky and he cheerfully explained that he felt luckier than before. As he pointed out, he could have broken his neck.

Get inspired today, with quotes!

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." -Albert Einstein

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy," -Martin Luther King Jr.

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in an eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand -- and melting like a snowflake." M.B. Ray

"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore," - Christopher Columbus

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius

"This above all: to your own self be true," -William Shakespear

The magic secret to a great life -- What I've learned from my clients

THE MAGIC SECRET...
The magic secret to a great life? I notice something about my clients who are happy and successful. They 1) Identify what isn't working. 2) Realize what is in their power to control. 3) Take action to change what is in their power to change. In a nutshell, take responsibility and take action.

Spoke to a client today who changes around anything that isn't working, to create a life that works. It's a courageous way to live that is more difficult in the moment, but more rewarding in the long term. He's had several successful businesses and built up several lives, only to tear apart pieces of those lives that weren't working, to re-create them for the better.

THE MINDSET THAT WORKS...
The difference in mindest is this:

1) I don't like this -- what can I do to change my life for the better? I will commit to doing everything I can." Versus...

2) "I don't like this -- it's his/her fault. Poor me. Oh well, I guess I have to accept the status quo."

Change your mindset, and you will change your life!

THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT...
So this is how you do it. Give it a try!

Right now, think of something you feel like total crap about. Maybe you hate your job. Your apmt sucks, or you hate what you do on the weekends. Maybe you don't get out enough, or perhaps you've spread yourself thin running around from event-to-event, and not enjoying any of it. Perhaps you don't exercise at all, and feel like crap watching the pounds pack on, or maybe you're such a gym rat that you don't even have a social life.

1) What do you feel like crap about?

Then identify what is in your power to control. You can't control other people, outcomes, and many other things. You CAN control yourself, your decisions, your thoughts/feelings/behaviors, you can control which actions you take (or don't take), how you spend your time, what new things you try, big decisions you make, and small decisions you make.

2) What are 3 things (within your control) that you can decide to do to improve the crappy situation? What are a few ways you can improve your life?

___________ ______________ ____________

3) Commit to doing the above. Start to do it this week! Take action.

This week I commit to doing the following: ____________, _____________, and __________.

(These might be big action things that are tangible -- I'll pack my things into boxes and give notice at my apartment, and I'll email a real estate agent and find a better place. I'll apply for a job, and I'll email everyone I know to find leads. I'll have an important conversation, and ask my mom to respect my decisions. Or maybe they are LESS tangible things, but equally important -- I'll decide to no longer think negatively, I will decide to believe in myself no matter what, I will begin to believe that I DO have the power to change my career, no matter who doesn't believe in me.

4) Allow yourself to make mistakes/be imperfect.

I allow myself to ________(look like an idiot, fall down, be rejected, have people say "no" to me, not know what I'm doing at first. But I know that eventually I will have this outcome_____________(I'll know everything I need to know about this subject, I'll achieve great success, I will do a triple turn without falling).

Good luck everyone! Go make it happen! :D

Why women are afraid to say "no" to guys

I was quoted in this article! Give it a read.

http://www.bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/why-women-are-afraid-to-just-say-no-to-guys.html?pageID=2

The same can be said for you, too. “Having the wrong men in your life just makes it more difficult to find the right man, since that time is being wasted,” says Julie Melillo. “It feels difficult to reject the wrong people at first, but doing so creates a beautiful blank space in your life for a new relationship to grow with the right man!”

Step 2. Then, we have to be honest with ourselves and what we want. “Ask yourself, ‘What do I really want?’ That might be a relationship, something casual, or marriage,” says Julie Melillo. “Getting clarity on life goals makes it much easier to cut out approaches that aren’t working. If you’re going on dates because you’re bored, that’s a clue you need/want to build up other areas of your life. Make more girl friends, expand your social life, try new events and classes or work on your fitness or career.”

2. We’re afraid of being alone. “It can be difficult to cut off dates who are so flattering and offer a fun night out. The alternative sounds quite depressing, even lonely: ‘Sit at home and do nothing? Forget it, I’m going out!’” – Julie Melillo, Manhattan relationship/life coach

A good use of a rainy day!

Being forced to stay indoors for a day can be a great thing -- you
can journal, brainstorm, read, and re-align with your goals!

Any goal, including fitness, starts in your mind: if you can
picture the result you want, you'll be able to achieve it faster. So a
rainy day is a great time to relax and visualize the outcome you want.
What will you look like wearing your favorite jeans again? How will it
feel to be healthier? What will you enjoy about creating a great new
career? How will your ideal relationship impact your life in positive
ways?

*Use a rainy day to focus in on what you want to achieve -- It's a
great time to create your strategy.
*Write a list of what is working/what is not working. And find
solutions you can start doing this week.
*Brainstorm all of the things you want in life in regards to getting
healthy, improving your career, etc. Write a list of your goals, and
place this list in a prominent place in your home.
*Create a "visual snapshot" of what your life will look like after you
achieve your goal. Write it down, draw it, or create a collage using
magazine photos. Hang your "visual snapshot" in a place you will see
it every day.
*Write a list of tasks you want to accomplish every day this week.

Sleep Tips

Trouble sleeping? This impacts your focus to achieve your goals during the day! Some sleep tips:
8 Sleep Tips! Trouble sleeping? This impacts your entire day :(

1. Write in a journal an hour before bed to vent any worries that may
otherwise keep you up at night.
2. Exercise earlier in the day to help your body feel tired.
3. Unwind with stretching, drinking a cup of decaffeinated tea, taking a
warm bath or doing deep breathing.
4. Create a sleep routine, starting by dimming the lights an hour or so
before bed.
5. Keep your bed as a sleep sanctuary. Keep work-related tasks away from
your bed.
6. Purchase a comfortable sleep mask, ear plugs, and hang a heavy
curtain to keep out light from the street.
7. Go to bed an hour earlier to help your body recharge from any slept
debt you may have.
8. Try supplements such as Melatonin or Valerian, but ask your doctor

A children's story I wrote, for adults

I wrote this little children's story today, for adults to illustrate an important idea.



THE MAN WITH THE UMBRELLA
AND THE GIGANTIC STEAK THAT ALMOST KILLED HIM
by Julie Melillo

There was a man with an umbrella afraid of the rain. He carried it always each day the same, day or night, cloudy or bright.

Walking without it, he just didn't feel all right. The dark fabric blinding his face from the sun, he grew pale and without a trace of wonder or joy. He kept his umbrella open always and held proudly facing the sky, just in case.

And it's true, when a single drop fell, he stayed dry and would yell "Look at me! I'm as dry as can be!" Since the open umbrella always stayed glued to his hand, protecting him from the sky.

But under his black tarp, he missed life's art. The clouds swirling above, doves, and he never met the eyes of another on the street, remained starring at his feet, so he never fell in love. He couldn't run, he never had fun, night or day, dry or sun, he glared into his black umbrella.

He missed sunsets and sky-writing, blimps and rainbows, snowflakes and golden rays of sunshine -- never felt on his face. But he'd tell anyone, "I am prepared," as he glared. "I will never get a drop of rain on me."

And then one day, in his usual blinded way, he walked down the sunny street with his umbrella held neatly over him. But he should have stayed in bed! Because today a shadow of bad luck hung over head. His fortune cookie warned him to be careful or he might end up dead.

As he crossed the street he didn't see a giant piece of falling meat from the sky -- a gigantic steak thrown by the butcher guy, and he stepped into its trajectory, his umbrella blocking his view.

"No!" screamed onlookers. "Get out of the way -- if you don't move that meat will make you meet the end of your days!"

Luckily at the last moment the man happened to step out of the way, as the hue steak fell and slammed into the ground, and onlookers yelled "Yay! He didn't die! But what a stupid guy to always carry an umbrella around -- so he can't even see a gigantic steak rapidly plummeting towards the ground!"

The man looked up with a terrorized face, he realized his fears had been misplaced.

"Look here, I've almost died trying to protect myself from a few drops of rain to stay dry -- and who knew it would be true that a gigantic steak would fall from the sky and almost make me meet my fate."

With a shaking hand he tore the black umbrella from his white-knuckle grip and threw it into a trash can, the sun finally shining onto his gray face. He said, "I will never again carry this umbrella just in case and rob my face of the sunlight's beautiful embrace. I won't ignore the beautiful sky, the birds and rainbows and snow -- now they're all mine. And if a few drops of water fall, it won't bother me at all."

The crowd cheered again as the man walked away, never again to ignore all the beauty around him -- one close call was all it took to close the umbrella and retire his gray fearful look once and for all.

THE END

Get to the next level in 4 steps!!

Here is a video if you don't like to read! :)

Break through your barriers. You know what you want! Maybe you've wanted it for years. You've done great, but there are still areas lingering that are frustrating. Why can't you seem to break through those last few barriers? Here's how:

1) Observe 2) Analyze 3) Decide 4) Act.

It's basically the life coaching process in a nut-shell, and you can do it for yourself.


1. Observe -- Look at the world (or yourself) as a scientist would. See it through several different perspectives. What is happening? Why? Once you feel that you understand it, take the perspective of another key player. Talk to more people and get their perspective. What is the conventional wisdom on this topic? What is a radically different way to see it? To understand things better, challenge your own thoughts and beliefs about this topic -- is there a completely different way to see things? Experience confusion!! Stand on your head and look at the world now. Let things seem completely foreign to you. Experience uncertainty. Ask yourself "what am I missing? How can I find out? " Go for a run and ask yourself again. Sit in silence and see what thoughts come to you.

2) Analyze -- What does this info mean? How can you use what you've learned? What are all of the possibilities of what you could do with this information? What would lead to the biggest messy failure? What would be the easiest most streamlined way to success? What approach sounds boring? Thrilling? Easiest? Most difficult? Make a list of all of the approaches you could take. What approaches can't you take? Are you sure about that? Make a list of what would be impossible. Is that really impossible? Are you sure? Starting with the impossible is a great way to find things that you can create, or make possible. Is it impossible to fly? Make a plane. Impossible to make a robot that cleans your floor? Make one. Impossible to make a billion dollars with a web site that links people together with photos? You get the idea.

3) Decide -- Choose one approach (or a few) to start with. You'll have to discard some of the ideas, though you can always come back to them later. Sometimes your discarded ideas may be more viable than your other (more viable-seeming) ideas. You just never know. But you've gotta start somewhere -- so for now, make an initial decision.

4) Act -- How can you put this decision into action? Bold action! It doesn't have to cost a lot. You don't necessarily need an army behind you. There is a lot of action you can take in small ways. Google, call, write, ask, walk, open doors, attend, speak, follow-up, etc. Many of these actions take five minutes or less. The key is to ACT.

Then repeat as necessary. If you hit a wall, go through the process again. You can use this to decide on a business idea, a career path, or to deal with a small specific problem. Use this to decide "should I pursue a career in science?" Or "How can I get my cold calls to work more effectively?"

Good luck!!